Have you done any therapy specifically for it? Click here if youd like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started. You are entitled to happiness; you are worthy of joy; you deserve to experience many moments of bliss. With my depression, I just can't do it. Maybe this is just my life and I need to just accept it. Amen he heard them all. I have nothing. The Psalmist in Chapter 42:5 cries within and comforts himself through the pain saying, Why, my soul, are you downcast? What did we do wrong to deserve that? I've been in and out of the hospital a total of 8 times, 5 times for my PTSD, transported there by EMS. Was it the real Genesight or one of the others out there? Please enjoy my Popeyes eating show today! Today, I'm letting you guys know what's happened behind the scenes and . Published at the web's largest poetry site. Where was my mistake? Right now it's a real struggle. (LogOut/ Nothing works. We lost everything we had accept the pajamas we were wearing. I love this series!! My doctor is leaving that up to me, knowing what a hard time I have tolerating any meds. Im so sorry my friend. I had some luck with Ketamine. :)Each month, I publish a recipe mukbang, inspired by one of my viewers! Our need for . Sounds like you are like this with your family. You've probably tried all kinds of meds, but they are also constantly finding new ones or new ways to dose, so don't give up. but he doesn't even notice. (LogOut/ In that sense, the answer is nothing.. Sorry you are still suffering and feel like you're not making any progress. | Learning To Be Full Of Grace And Truth. We got back together two months later and things were going great. It covers any drugs related to mental health. No, it wont make all the problems go away, but it will keep you alive and will be the first step to making things much more tolerable. Dumbest thing I ever did. Did acupuncture a long time ago, Didnt do much. I honestly don't know. 2. 2022. One of the reasons it is so difficult is that it is often masking other questions that are stewing just beneath the surface. Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them. My Latest Book: Special Graces in Common Places. In other words, hes saying, be happy because youre lucky and special to have been chosen and given this opportunity to encounter these pains and suffering in your lifetime. I'm more and more suicidal, less and less functional. I've been back and forth between the crisis center and ED both not really helpful. You have to accept that while bad things do happen, they are by no means the inevitable consequence of every action you take. I've been on every med there is, hospitalized, ECT, TMS and ketamine. None help. :) I open your letters \u0026 packages on camera! I really want to go to the ER right now, but ive been hospitalized once and I know that's not going to help me. Mine wasn't accurate at all and my insurance at the time didn't cover it but I didn't find out until after the fact. What Did I Do to Deserve This, My Lord? It was not a matter of fault on our account. Your wife will see you are trying, it will give her space too and yourself to find if this works for you. I am humbled by your kind words. All the antidepressants they recommended for me were already tried and failed. It could just as easily been you. Simply comment your favorite recipe under my videos along with your business/social media information, and check back to see if I make your favorite meal! only for yourself but we're all preprogrammed with til death happily ever after fairytale harlequin tiger beat romantic illusions perpetuated by media, literature, religion, culture since kindergarten. In truth, you like the pain. In each of these cases, there is however, a sense in which there was a singling out. My Dr. And I decided I needed to detox my system and clean everything out and then decide what to do. Coincidence? | Benoy J. Thomas, Kraisthava Ezhuthupura | , Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License. Hopefully that makes sense and didn't come off as rude or come out wrong). I promised my 12 year old son and my wife I'd get better. It might hurt your son in the short term but if you both handle it right and be honest it won't hurt him in the long run and he will probably respect you more for it. He's right about that. Kraisthava Ezhuthupura - Reaching Through Media, : | . The only one place where we find a direct response from God is in John Chapter 9:2&3 "His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the works of God . In a world where people are fallen and bent towards evil, we will inevitably fall victim to the harmful choices of others that we had nothing to do with. I need HIM, not any random man, and I am so very scared at the thought of him not being here because of his depression. But my life is a living hell. I saw my doctor today and asked to try Auvelity myself. Thank you Starrlight. You deserve to get better. I don't know how to. She just might need to feel like you are really present, like she can count on you. That's because your feelings are your feelings but they don't make the whole of you. The most important thing you can show your son and wife is that you keep trying to get better. “I Feel Like I Don’t Exist” (Reasons Why + What To Do), When Self-Deprecating Humor Becomes Harmful, How To Stop Making Rash Decisions: 15 Highly Effective Tips, 11 Ways To Ease Adulting Anxiety And Beat The Fear Of Growing Up, “I Don’t Feel Anything” Reasons Why + 8 Things To Do About It, 8 Reasons Why You Feel Fake (+ How Not To). I know exactly what you mean. My meds are not stabalising me for me to take more of an advantage of my DBT. I fully agree that any good we experience is only the result of Gods common and/or saving grace. Were you able to actually see your results on paper? But I'm stuck in it bc I love my son more than life itself. Sounds like an opportunity to . Wondering what did I do so wrong To deserve this I feel like I am worthless Every time I speak . Loved your response to Joshgw. Why? I don't want some random person from the internet. In addition to that, I am working on a PhD in systematic and spiritual theology. I personally don't find the crisis center helpful, because one time when I went to the ED, after a 4 hour wait for them to tell me to go to the crisis center, so I went to the crisis center the next time I needed help, they told me to go to the ED after waiting for an hour to talk to someone. If he did that to you, then he's not the man of your dreams. I'm completely emotionally unstable. Let that same love be felt for yourself while you are working on finding the next pathways in life. I hate these stupid societal rules about monogamy. My son, who's 12 really doesn't want me to go he's always saying I can't be without my daddy. Thank you so much for this wisdom! A good place to get professional help is the website BetterHelp.com here, youll be able to connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message. What did I do wrong? Id vote for a positive action rather than waiting for a feeling to get better. Going into it lately. Please forgive me. But it is often difficult to answer. Why has God stopped caring forme? In the middle of the attack, the leader suddenly called everyone off once he realized I was not who he thought I was. It is not necessarily accurate for all. I pray and practice Zen Buddhism.I go to online NAMI Groups. So frustrating to have to figure this out when it's hard just to breathe and get out of bed. It's called FHEHeath in Florida. I believe in coming out of depression. Whether its checking yourself into the treatment program in Florida, or hoisting yourself out of bed with every ounce of strength you have. Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. There's a residential treatment center in Florida. She smooths her fingers across it and gives a happy little cry of delight. Marya Hornbacher. It sounds like this person is lazy and wants to get rid of you to make their life easier , you need to show them its going to make it harder trying to get rid of them or just look for another job. With my depression, I just can't do it. He singled me out to be saved. He not only singled me out saving me physically from that fire, but singled me out in Christ to save me from what would be a far worse fatepaying the price for my sins to a perfect and holy God who would not let the least of them go unpunished. I just keep getting worse and worse. Some would say medicine and science saved me but when you fall over two hundred feet to solid rock man and medicine can do nothing for you. I don't know to do, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. I am so far away from my family and best friends. So when you the question comes up, what did I do wrong to deserve this, dont respond with pat answers or paragraphs from your favorite systematic theology textbook. Thats not something you can find every day so you really, really need to stick around. He intervened and in his mercy showed the way it would end. And you get access to the same level of qualified and experienced professional. I tried acupuncture and noticed an improvement. He was calling me but I did not hear Him. It's barely been a week. I'm looking into facilities/programs just in case Lexapro fails. English Article:What did I do wrong to deserve this pain and suffering? I'm 15 and we were together for 2 years. My insurance paid for mine. Were talking about the pervasive mindset of unworthiness; the idea that the universe as a whole somehow wishes you to suffer for some unknown reason. I give this person a shoutout and promote their business/social media accounts in the video. Can you talk, instead of just a message board? I was also careful to direct the anger at my perpetrator and not at myself. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page. I've taken them All. Really, I am sorry it did not help. I smile simply in the watching her. I think it's more common than a lot of people realize and it makes sense, if you were punished as a kid and thought your very survival depended on suppressing anger of course you would repress it and deny it. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. I don't want to leave my family. Im sorry. Walking beside the suffering, listening without speaking and a simple hug are powerful! Why me? I did the genesight test. His grace saw it so. Tell them that there was nothing that singled them out to experience such evil at the hands of men or nature. This has been going on for way to long and lives are at stake. It's just a form of denial and avoidance. You are only on this earth for a short time and you mustnt spend a single moment in the belief that pain is all that you can expect. I had to start by cutting 10mg pill into quarters for 8 days just to be able to tolerate it. I don't know to do, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to. I tried lexapro again. Any tips or advice is greatly appreciated! So I won't feel any pain But I must ask What did I do wrong? He takes pleasure in inflicting pain on those he believes deserve it, like his enemies, but he . Those who struggle with these questions are in the company of the finest saints in Scripture! When my house burned down, we experienced Gods protective grace again literally experiencing His promise in Isaiah 43:2, Isaiah 43:2 (ESV) when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. , : | . You are not destined to suffer; there is no malevolent force bringing misery to your doorstep. It explained why no antidepressants ever worked for myself. It's easy to try to rationalize and try to solve our problems intellectually because that way we don't have to actually feel all of the traumatic difficult emotions and deal with them. Fact is: Only God knows. The bupropion is there to boost the dextromethorphan and make it stay longer in your system. I need to figure out how not to leave my son. Why so disturbed within me? Sometimes drugs just don't work. I don't know what to do. For me why did he do this to me? I'm in couples therapy with my wife because she's been so unhappy for so long. You loved me. He is literally begging you to be around for him. What did I do to deserve all of this pain? I can't leave my son or wife. He said 5mg is better than nothing and just keep taking it. Six months we got into an argument, and spent some time apart (2 weeks) to cool down and think about things. You deserve to feel better than this and it can happen. Its a great way to get your thoughts and your worries out of your head so you can work through them. God has a plan for us. I have been going through similar symptoms for years. i started keeping a mood/anger diary to become more aware of my feelings and anger. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I want to live and raise my son but I'm in too much pain. The doctors when the placed me in intensive care told my parents days was all I had. I love him more than anything ever in the world. Then incarnate that for them by sticking with them, supporting them, and walking with them. Her prognosis was definitely poor, but her ability to cope with the situation did not appear to be much better and her psychological, social, and financial situation did not seem to offer her the opportunity to embark on a reflective spiritual journey. I need a back up plan. Have you felt pain and believed that it was warranted? Thanks. Hopefully, my eye heals quickly. God is great, waves are good and people are crazy! The lowest point in my search for the Holy Grail of quitting methods was when I visited a shady local . He loves you because you are a loving father. Would you share the name & location of the place in Florida? I also found ACT therapy helpful for my depression. hi there, sorry for your heartache, I think rare candy has said exactly what i was thinking. I want my life back instead of this furniture existence. But he will REALLY miss you if you take your life and he doesnt get to grow up with his father around. You have tried and are still trying so much. Hi Josh, so sorry you are going through this. Still believe you deserve to feel pain? Your right, I really need to go away. Best of luck and hope you do whats best for you and your family.. These more often serve to separate us from the person who is suffering than encourage us to mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). We end up thinking "what did I do to deserve this?" This is the trap of the drama triangle. If not GeneSite, there are others. It won't matter how I answer this question I suspect y. Thank you, glad you liked it. Its more convenient than in-person therapy and is more affordable in a lot of cases. And what did he do to deserve such pain and suffering. They used to workuntil they stopped working. His love still protects me as I make sense of the senseless. Tell them that we live in a world that is broken and marred by sin and that sometimes we get knocked down by the evil in it; and sometimes we get knocked down hard. The other thing I can think of is, if you have a crisis center, they should be able to give you recourses to help you. Really? I feel for you. Nikocado Avocado6059 Allentown Blvd. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Just started fetzima. As much as your son doesn't want you go, I would highly consider the rehab in FL. This is just a little part of a report. I am an easy going and fun loving guy who is totally in love with my wife Mandi and the proud father to my three girls. I'm really not functioning at a sustainable level. The next year my house burned to the ground on Christmas morning. Put it all together a fall no one knows how I survived, a hiker trained to handle severe trama medically, emergency personnel nearby and ready to move. Nothing. I don't really want to die, I want to save my marriage and raise my son. If it wasn't for him I probably won't be here, but he is here and I need to get better, but it's so damn hard. Barely functioning and the professionals don't know what else to do. I am getting worse by the hour. Nice of you to ask. Love you all so much. Many blessings to you, my friend. I know how frustrating it is to try almost everything and nothing helps. At times of adversity and pain, even the strongest among us have asked the question Why, Lord?! I was great at work, a was a relatively functional human being. The Scriptures doesnt take the time to indulge our curiosity as to why Joseph had to go through all those years of suffering, betrayal and rejection, or why Moses was left with no comfort or answer during his exile or even through the Exodus, or why David had to run for his life even after being called & anointed by God, or why Job had to endure all those unimaginable suffering after all his years of faithfulness and righteousness before God. I actually am going off fetzima. Glad that the three of us can all share stories of Gods grace. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Nothing. And my insurance at the time didn't cover it and I didn't find out till after the fact. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); After thirteen years as a pastor in New England, I am currently working as a retail tobacconist, manage the pipe and pipe tobacco section at New England's premiere cigar bar, Twins Smoke Shop, and host the "Not Just Blowing Smoke" podcast. I heard For some reason once you leave something and go back it never works the same. Depression. Something concrete, like cooking dinner, going for a walk, watching a show with your son. I don't know where to go from here. What did I do wrong to deserve this? The only reason this question is asked is when there is no discernable connection between choices we have made and the circumstances of our suffering. Don't get me wrong, I love it and it makes me feel special and loved, but I really don't want to be here. He says he can't be without his daddy, and hearing that must tear you apart, but if you go to this center at least it will only be temporary whereas if you don't go(whether it's there or somewhere else), there's a chance you may not be around at all if you don't get help. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device.We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development.An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Some types of therapy help us intellectually but we also need to process and feel our deep emotional pain in order to heal. Then she looks up at me again and her brow furrows. Constantly remind yourself of the wonder that can be found in this world if you are prepared to look for it. It does seem like getting stable is a priority. My doctor was at a loss but I started drugs againover and over. If this program has a chance to help you, you should go. Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked. The fact that your semen contains between 5 and 25 calories per teaspoon, but still, there is still a lot of research space to back this figure up.The sexual energy that is stored with you is the greatest and the most potent form of raw energy available to you to boost your energy level to the level to do extraordinary in your desired activities. I feel like a piece of furniture. (Japanese: , Hepburn: Ysha no Kuse ni Namaiki da) is a real-time strategy game for the PlayStation Portable.The game centers on creating mazes and monsters to help defend a demon lord from heroes seeking to capture him. Thank you for this post. A well dad is much better then a depressed one. Don't give up. Have you talked about it with her? , : ' ' .. What more can I do. If so, you need to read this article. But there's so much pain, I'm so paralyzed. You may already be gone. It will kill him. When does that ever happen? Good luck.. On your SSRIs, does it tell you what you are the most allergic to? I fell victim to the reality of original sin. Amen sister amen. I know I'm supposed to be strong but I don't know if I can be. To me anger was rage but there are varying degrees of anger without rage. you dont deserve this and most things in the world just happen and have nothing to do if you deserve it or not. Dense-Alternative249 144 2021-11-15 02:57:30 . Simply click here to connect with one via BetterHelp.com. The rescue crew who pulled me off that ledge and who happened to be training for traumatic falls that same day nearby.. It's been a week now on Auvelity and I'm feeling a lot better. , : | , : | . I can't function, I'm on meds, go to therapy twice a week. hi Josh. Right now I really want to go to the ER, but I also know that won't help me. I can understand not wanting to go to the ED. If I lived alone I probably wouldn't be here. Until then, shine bright for the Lord and smile through your suffering, understanding that this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Cor. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Statistically, I should have died. | Pr. While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. We have to just keep moving forward despite the pain. At the same time, we all make bad decisions, fail, and rebel. Hes on Prozac and Abilify as well, and Im sure they help some in the sense that I dont really want to see him off of them but they are still not cutting it. You must do what is best for you and your family. Sorry to hear to are still not doing well. How much energy is lost in sperm. I might have mentioned this before to you. What would you call it? Yes, He is always with us. If you can find another psychiatrist I' probably stay in help with the current psychiatrist and don't make that switch until you know that the new one is going to work. What did I do to deserve this. Answer (1 of 4): I don't know who told you Love is the key to LIFE!!! It's a constant battle against this horrible disease. No one is in a position to have an expectation of good. We have done everything to deserve punishment for our sins, and have done nothing to deserve the reward of good.. Not a chance! I suffered in silence and continually repented for even marrying him without Gods blessings. In fact, the right truth at the wrong time can do just as much harm as telling untruth anytime (you think about that)! I'm being punished for something I did or didn't do recently. Where was my mistake? His wisdom will eventually sink into my think skull and his patience will see it so. I dont expect my boyfriend to work an 8-5 job and be normal. If you are a born-again Christian, then God dwells in you so that you can know right and wrong. That is too bad. The only things that have seemed to give my boyfriend some relief have been ketamine infusions and hiking. Keep trudging along for your family until something pops up that helps you. Mine for not being here, the trauma of my 12 year old son and the heartbreak of my wife. I'm ready to check myself in if they take insurance. Why do you say it does not work for you? When I was a teenager a friend of mine and I went into Boston for the day. why do i deserve the pain i get why do i get the tail end of things i dont understand wht i ever did wrong i dont understand why im being put thru all this pain no one cares no one loves do i realy deserve this i give my hear. Every one of them. Simply, How To Stop Feeling Guilty For Past Mistakes And Things Youve Done Wrong, 8 Easy Ways To Stop Negative Thoughts From Entering Your Mind, Say These 6 Positive Affirmations Daily To Build Self-Esteem And Confidence, To Grow Your Self-Esteem Over Time, Do These 10 Small Things Regularly, How To Finally Beat Feelings Of Worthlessness. I'm afraid to even say that out loud, I don't want to wake the beast! Nonetheless, just as Newton's law is not a belief but a principle of physical science, the law of karma . I asked my therapist about emdr, but you have to be stable first. Same here. Please let me know. I later came to find out that my anger is so repressed that I have taught it to never boil to the surface. I'm very mature for my age as i'm always cooking and cleaning . Every doctor, every emergency worker thought me dead. Sometimes it's better to move psychiatrist even though it might not be as easy especially if you already have someone you been seeing for a while and like them. Jesus too, while on the cross, after enduring all the pain cried out My God, why have you forsaken me? (Matt 27:46). the tree just exploded. But from a pastoral perspective, I find this response frankly wretched. . Keep an open mind. Your son obviously loves you so much. For the first year it went perfect, We spent his birthday, My birthday and christmas together and acted like best mates. I know the depression is a constant struggle. I cried out to God for years, begging for forgiveness, believing that I deserved the treatment that I was getting as punishment for my sins in my relationship with my husband. I have pictures of my son at work and when I look at them I sob. I was never Suicidal. Something must be done even if it means inpatient program. A few things I can say. God doesnt punish sin twiceall paid for! Do you know what she expects of you? Your wife needs you too. Don't know if it will work this time or not but I'm giving it a try. Then transported twice because of my Type 1 Diabetes. Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. I may be too late. Feeling bad about something you regret doing is natural and healthy, it is how we learn where our moral boundaries are. Showed meds I had been on that should work and didn't, showed meds I was on and shouldn't work but did. What did I do wrong to deserve that? Healing from depression isn't like other illnesses. I didn't think it was all that accurate. you are so blessed to have such a loving son and and an amazing Dad to have built such a good relationship while going through hell. I have read where a lot of therapists are busy but I've also read a lot are doing more therapy online which means you wouldn't have to find some one local. I know more and more insurance carriers are allowing acupuncture, so that might be worth looking into. It's the dextromethorphan it's mixed with. I don't want to sound selfish, but it's really hard for me when he does that. Mine wasn't accurate at all either. He cried out to you and you finally heard him. An attorney for Paul Whelan, the former U.S. Marine imprisoned in Russia on suspicion of spying, said he understands why Brittney Griner was released in a prisoner exchange and believes an . First up no shoulds which bring more pain. I can understand not wanting to leave your son, but I don't see it as breaking a promise, I more so see it as going to get help so that you can be an even better father to him, better than you are now. I need to show my wife I can be a bigger partner but I feel myself slipping into the abyss. Habakkuk? Online it says it was recently FDA approved for depression and it supposedly works differently than other meds out there. No one is in a position to have an expectation of "good.". Then I was there once because of a really bad anxiety attack, and they sent me home. I fully agree with the fact that God is absolutely holy and therefore cannot take part in, harbor, or ignore sin; He must punish it wherever He finds it. But Apostle Paul takes it one step further and challenges us Christians to not be content with just that knowledge, but to respond to our suffering with rejoicing knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because Gods love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Rom 5:3-5). Again. You can always pm me. (LogOut/ Hope your night is at least a tiny bit better than yesterday. I am not in the position to call it anything. Were talking about the inner belief that you have not earned the right to be free from pain and hurt. The wire burned through the floor until it got to the tree; then boom! You did nothing to deserve this, whatever this is. I had no idea that it was fueling my anxiety and depression. Tomorrow you can work on the next 0.1%. I have an 11-year-old son (not my boyfriends son, from my previous marriage). He says it a lot, and that he loves me. What did I do wrong? But thats not what were talking about here. Amen. It was that experience God used to open my eyes to His sovereign love for me. This is amazing! Kind of feel like the hulk Perhaps I need to get a punching bag and see if I can explode for a while. This page contains affiliate links. Cold turkey, patches, gums, acupuncture, lasers if you can name it, I have tried it, and I can tell you why it didn't work for me. An original song about life's problems, with pictures from http://www.morguefile.com and http://best-pictures.com. I really appreciate your encouragement. Please keep us posted. I've tried and retried. Did the Holy Spirit convict you . Writing it has actually been rather therapeutic for me, and it feels good to get all of these thoughts out of my head. I'm not sure if depression is from repressed anger or not, but how do see the value in the visceral actions. When I was mugged my friend and I were singled out by God to be shown protective grace. To not live in the same house with him would devastate me. DBT is great for recognizing and learning how to deal with it. As I type this sentence, my eye is still swollen and turning purple. When we do that, when we see ourselves as that helpless, our mind has to conclude that there must be something seriously wrong with us. You just need to stick around for it and take a small step right now, one at a time, whatever it is to make today 0.1% better. They agreed to that. I'm not. Is she understanding of what would help you as well as what she needs from you? Please read my response again. I'm only taking one pill as I taper off the Trintellix. Then I'll go to 2 pills which is the full dose. It means a lot. . About a year a go i had to break up with my boyfriend because he treated me wrong. I am trying. I've been suffering trying to find a medication that works too. Your son does need you but not when you are feeling so low, in the long run you are not helping him by staying. The only alternative is being miserable and never enjoying the things I used to or function like a regular adult. So, regardless of how you take all of this, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. Mount Sinai hospital seems to have a good treatment resistant depression clinic but I can't get a hold of anyone there. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved. Love both of you, Michelle and Pastor Dan. I've been doing DBT since January and I'm feeling worse, not better. When people say "it didn't work" I have to ask what your expectations are? I am sure your wife is scared too because you are not replaceable. I've been hospitalized once. Just a small part. I'm sorry it's so hard. It was a matter of poor choices of others and natural evil (i.e. I have slipped in and out a lot in life. "What did I do to deserve this?" she asks in puzzled wonderment. I have a good psychiatrist but ive been looking for a second opinion or a new one. I realized I had repressed my anger for years because I was punished and shamed for trying to express even normal healthy anger so I was also in denial about it. How To Fight Your Demons (A Better Way Of Looking At It), How To Stop Making Assumptions: 8 Highly Effective Tips, Copyright A Conscious Rethink. I know I have to go to work, just put my head down and go. If we are meant to be, then somehow, we will make it work. I've had depression for 20-25 years but it's really only the last year and a half that it's gotten this bad. Nothing shy of sheer divine intervention saved me. Because they are trained to help people in situations like yours. If we seek out suffering, it will have no such lessons to teach us; after all, how can we expect to learn anything when our minds are so unreceptive to the potential good in any situation? Probably the same or similar things I did to deserve you. Have you ever convinced yourself that you deserve to have bad things happen to you? Do not let it go to waste in the false belief that your life deserves to be full of pain and punishment. Ribi Kenneth, UAE, Article: THE TRUE POINT OF LIFE! If anyone reading this knows of a good inpatient program, please respond. It's not a hospital, more like a rehab center. I started paying attention to how a felt especially when I felt upset or triggered or tense and noticing if I was angry. Good luck to you. It took me a long time to hear Him above the voice of Satan in my head. : .. Our mind sees no way out, and so it interprets the situation as being related to some deep and irreparable flaw in us. By all means prepare yourself for the possibility of emotional pain and physical agony these befall most of us at some point in our lives but never seek to convince yourself that this is all there is. I have no idea what to do with my suicidal pain and my meds. Nothing. Talking to someone can really help you to address and fix this issue. Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment. Why isnt God answering my prayers to rescue me from this suffering? Doesnt work. If it wasn't for my son and wife I'd probably be dead. It is great advice and i believe you really need to go, you have nothing to lose by going away and try to get help. I fell victim to the reality of original sin. And the compassionate grace of what shows through. He did so multiple times that day. (Not saying that you're not doing a great job already, so that you can do an even better job than what you're doing now. Great advice from others. This time feels different than the last time we broke up and I am really struggling because I still love him. I laugh and tell her, "You're friend just likes to add happy surprises to someone's day.". Angel thanks for your comments. He has a plan for each of us and will raise us all us in His timing to help others May God pour out His blessings onto you both and your families Love yall. So far so good. I am in your wifes shoes and my boyfriend is like you. When one is in great pain, you know one cannot feel any blessing quite as it may deserve. How many of us can bypass the physical and emotional pain to see this light? I started calling the hospitals. The right-to-die debate was cast into the spotlight on November 1, 2014, when Brittany Maynard, a beautiful young California woman, took her own life by a doctor- prescribed letha I promised my son a long time ago I would always be here for him and that's what's keeping me alive, barely. Yesterday I started a series of posts prompted by everyones favorite pastoral question: Why is this happening to me? It is a very honest question when we are suffering, and it is perfectly fine and appropriate to ask. This question is meant to bring the one suffering to reflect on the seriousness of our sin, the unimpeachable holiness of God, and that any good we experience is the result of sheer undeserved and unmerited grace, whether common or saving. I care about you and your family. Try to get back on your foot with help you can do it Every step towards getting job that will satisfy you will also help Just try. Yes pastor Dan I can reply even from the beach between sets. Sample of a GeneSight report. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Advertise | Privacy Policy, Why You Are Wrong To Believe You Deserve To Feel Pain, Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you if you feel like you deserve to suffer. Although the 1st time I was transported for my Type 1, I was ordered by my battalion chief so I couldn't disobey his order. You must go to Florida,asure your son you will be coming back & maybe they will allow him to visit you while you are in treatment. I asked you how we (here on this board) can help. He always says I don't want to be without my dad. do i deserve this should i stand up and fight what is the purpose did i do something wrong? It could save your life. God is just, there is no double jeopardy, He cannot punish for sin twice. The #1 Post Learning To Be Full Of Grace And Truth. I'm praying the improvement is real this time!Check out this video about it: youtu.be/ESvvAMWXuM4(Not working as expected?). While this is our reality, we should not let our minds trick us into believing that life must be dominated by pain or that one person deserves more than any other both are lies. His love and mercy saw his hands to work. There are a lot of different types of therapy available now and I found spending time to determine what kind I thought I needed for the next stage of my healing helped. Please keep me posted. We all know there is not an easy fix, but I also believe that you will not always feel as bad as you do right now. But very few are taking new patients. Really? I felt his hands cradle my body and his love again healed me. Genocide, rape, murder, torture, tyrants, dementia, drugs, slavery, people having rights stripped away, wasting away to chronic illness . Big T Vs. Little t Trauma: Whats The Difference? He seemed to be, but he definitely didn't wake up one day and decide to ghost you. I also started doing the same thing at home when I was triggered, got a plastic baseball bat, focused on who I was angry at and beat the crap out of a pillow, I would even do the same thing with a sledgehammer outside pounding on rocks. It felt great and empowering. At the core of yourself is love. Loved your post! Our traumatic emotions/memories are stored in our body and need acknowledgement and processing to heal. I'm treading water and sinking. I sure hope you were. Outside of DisneyLand rea. 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